Guest post: Wankstronomist's favorite gluten free treats

Hey culineuro nom-lovers, 

The Wankstronomist returns, and not with a flavor pairing that's weird and delicious for you to try.

Unfortunately, the Wankstronomist is undergoing some digestion challenges. Since returning from a fellowship in Vietnam, she can't eat too much meat, wheat, or dairy. So now, her pantry is stocked with vegan, gluten-free treats to satisfy her appetite. Here are the top three things to keep yourself at bay with hunger.

1. Green Lentils. Here's a recipe on how simple it is to cook. Make sure to take out irregular lentils out, and add salt last. Top over rice and get a delicious, filling, vegan dinner.

2. Dates. Your tummy is happy and fulfilled, and your poop comes out easier. Win-win in my book. Pick dates from Wholefoods or Trader Joes. They don't add sugar, are perfectly dried, and taste waaaay better than the normal gross mush you buy at regular stores. For the best dates, you can go to Dubai. You know, just in case you can drop $$$$$ for the plane ticket.

3. Coconut Water. I know this doesn't count as a hunger-defying snack, but forreals, the electrolytes and potassium found naturally in this water top all choices in energy drinks. Add some chia seeds to make it more power punched.

Back to the beginning of this post of "digestion challenges". Part of these challenges are derived from returning from a developing country that lacks strong health and clean water standards, but the second is not having a good work-life balance. It doesn't matter how many vegan meals the Wankstronomist eats, or how many chia frescas she drinks. If there isn't work-life balance where a person can do a quality job at work and still meet up with friends for fun, exercise for mental well-being, and have time to catch up with loved ones far away; life's just not as great as it can be. When life's not at awesome as it's meant to be, our minds and bodies respond. Skin rashes flare up, insomnia creeps in, depression burdens our shoulders, or if you're like me, you might not be able to poop.

So readers, I wish you healthy eating, happy living, and balance and peace, because you deserve to feel good about yourself.

WANKSTRONOMIST, OUT

Guest post: An unlikely pair - banana and parsley

Hey everyone, this week, I'm featuring a guest post from a fellow kitchen experimenter, none other than my sister. Some background - she's currently based on the east coast working at an International Development company. In her spare time, she enjoys hot yoga, playing with babies, and cooking up a storm in the kitchen. Hope everyone enjoys this post - more to come in the future!

Until next time, happy eating all!

~

Hey y'all, it's The culineuroscientist's lil' sister the Wankstronomist. I'm the wanksta of gastronomy. If that still doesn't make sense, watch this and instead of 50 Cent rollin' up in a hummer, imagine Morimoto with the honey Ina Garten next to him chucking deuces like a boss. Or simply put, I'm the Ja Rule of the ballin' food world (no offense to Ja Rule, I love the man's music). 

That being said, I am particularly obsessed with the world of Foodpairings. Foodpairings is a SCIENCE, it's not as easy as taking citrus to a random piece of fish and going, "wowza, pops in my mouth". Foodpairings go together because these two noms share the same chemical compound.

This can lead to some interesting combinations with foods you never would have thought go well together (ie. passion fruit and oysters). Check out unusual foodpairings here, and keep your eye out on this blog for some fancy molecular gastronomy.

I decided to take on the two noms banana and parsley for some vegan banana parsley bread. SAY WHAAA?

Yeah, check it. Awesome foodpairing blogger Martin Lersch wrote this post on banana and parsley. After homie searched on The good scents company, he found out (Z)-3-hexen-1-yl formate and linalool are present in both banana and parsley. Basically, try cooking with parsley--if you have a gifted nose from the Gastronomy Gods, you can smell a waft of banana. 

Because my big sis is all hip and tries things vegan now, I decided to make a vegan dish as a nod to her healthy life style.

And I semi-failed.

Recipe IF YOU DARE:

Three ripe bananas (I used four...BIG MISTAKE)

1 cup of rice flour (I would adjust and do 1 and 1/2 cup)

1 tablespoon vanilla

1 cup of chopped parsley leaves (no stems)

1 teaspoon of baking powder (apparently not all baking powders are vegan)

2 tablespoons of oil -- 1 for the batter, one to cover your baking loaf

1 tablespoon of chia seed (substitute for egg)

Instructions:

• Preheat oven to 415 degrees F
• Take 1 tablespoon of chia seed and mix with 3 table spoons of water. Put aside - in five minutes, it'll turn into a tapioca-like thick mix
• Wash parsley and take only the top stems and leaves.Finely chop. Set aside.
• Mash the bananas well. You can even blend them if you want.
• Mix all ingredients together with remaining items: chia seed, parsley, banana, vanilla extract, baking powder, oil.
• Cook in the oven for 45 minutes. Depending on your oven, I'd watch closely until it gets golden brown.

Notes:

1. If batter is too dry, add a little bit of water. If batter is too wet, add more vegan flour. My bananas were super juicy that it didn't need additional liquid.
2. If your banana bread is golden brown (close to burnt edges), but still a bit wet on the inside--take it out and let it rest. After it cools (it should flatten considerably), cut into squares and cook at 350 degrees F in a toaster oven. DON'T JUDGE, I don't have 1379373 bananas and parsley to find the right heat balance.
3. Don't overdue bananas. Three ripe bananas are perfect. Doing four is overkill and makes the batter too wet.
4. I wouldn't recommend going with rice flour, unless you like gelatinous results. Should have read this post about vegan baking from the Gluten-Free Goddess.

If there's anything you can reap from this post, it's this:

1. Foodpairings are awesome. Who cares if the last page you witnessed was an atrocity to baking.
2. Banana and parsley tastes great together. Try it raw, make it into a smoothie, whatever...don't let this post ruin it for you. I just can't bake. 'Cuz I'm a wankstronomist.
3. My sister is doing an awesome job sticking to her vegan diet. My support is measured through my LOVE not my vegan baking, OK?

Alright, I'm out heading into the mean streets of Arlington-Yuppie Virginia. If this post gets enough likes, maybe my big sis will invite me again to do a post that isn't a big mess up like this one.

NEXT FUTURE POST: Dried apricots and harissa. 

PEACE

The Wankstronomist.